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The Positive vs. the Negative

As we confront the everyday struggles of raising a family we must do our best to focus on the positive attributes of our family members. We can all agree that there are many areas of our personal lives that need to be addressed, however when we tend to focus our thoughts and energy on these negative areas they tend to grow in size rather than diminish. I believe that we should focus on the qualities that are good and take that energy to help grow these areas. As we do this the other areas will disappear altogether and become less of a stressor in the family arena. How many times have we said I am not going to be like a certain family member only to find ourselves mimicking the same behaviors? This is because our mind subconsciously figures out how to achieve that which we dwell on the most. Try to focus on the attributes that are best suited to your family’s goals and nurture these to become the dominant. The less desirable traits will lose energy and the focus of the individual who possesses them will be replaced by the more productive trait. If you continue to do this practice for a long enough period, this trait will become the habit.

This is a more proactive move and will bring about the desired results without the stress so many families have come to accept as the norm. Learn to be less negative in your mentoring. As parents we train our children by example more than by words. Help them to develop proper attitudes by demonstrating how to deal with the frustration in a positive non-defeated way. Do not allow yourself to be over taken emotionally by a situation that is not letting you move in the direction you want to go. Simply redirect the negative to the positive and turn failure into victory. In every difficulty there is an equal course of action that will propel you even faster in the direction you do want to go.

Today I spoke with a former teen that I worked with for about a year. After this young man returned home, problems were addressed with the focus on the negative. The problems grew to a grand scale of crisis and stress which was tearing the family apart. Negativity was at the forefront. As a result, fear along with a “can’t do” attitude won out. After several months this young man moved out. He is now developing a plan and surrounding himself with a positive mental attitude. He is getting back on track and progressing well.

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